It’s 1945 all over again as US proves itself best in the world (in gaming)

According to a press release sent through the Destructonet moments ago, Team USA — whose alternate name: Team Eagles With Guitars And Bitchin’ Machine Guns seemed too inflammatory — has claimed overall victory at the just-completed World Cyber Games in Seattle, Washington. Competing against our boys were a veritable Axel of Pixels consisting of teams from 74 countries, competing in twelve PC and Xbox 360 games.
While previous champion Korea and noted monkey-sympathizer Brazil both picked up two golds, and Ze Germans earned a gold, a silver and a smattering of bronzes, the Americans (hereafter referred to as God’s Chosen Thumbs) walked away with three golds, two silvers and a bronze.
President Roosevelt should be addressing the nation via radio shortly to congratulate our fighting men, and parades have been scheduled in all major cities for tomorrow afternoon. All stout women are invited to attend and engage in cliché, back-bending kisses with […]

Original post by mrdestructoid@gmail.com (Destructoid.com) and software by Elliott Back